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Deep thoughts: Margaret’s healing journey in her father’s birthplace, Grenada, Caribbean

The beginning

As a child the most traumatic incident I recall was when my father struck my mother with a brass lamp pole on her head.

My father was an alcoholic and very abusive. I saw him hit my mother so many times.  I was like a referee and tried to defend her so many times. There were six of us, one boy and five girls. There was no bonding between us, as we were living in fear trying to survive in our own individual way. Friends and family did not visit. There was never a family gathering or birthday celebration. We more or less grew up by ourselves.

Enough! Enough!

In my early teens I left home out of desperation, loaded with aggression and resentment. I was getting taller, my mind bolder and my hands stronger. I knew if I had witnessed my father laying a hand on my mother one more time I would have probably switched his life off.

I ran…

I ran for my life. Alone out in a chaotic world, vulnerable and emotionally scarred,  with multiple paths to choose from and outside influences such as alcohol, drugs, gangs and prostitution. I could have turned to a life of crime, but I was determined to seek happiness we all deserve and not follow in my mother’s footsteps.

Prince charming came along

Unfortunately I did.  As a girl I felt deprived of my father’s love and I eagerly entered a relationship, which almost cost me my life and instigated the tragic loss of my baby and home. I thought then it was catering to all the love and happiness I was hungry for as a child. He was superficially charming, took me to dinner, travelling, was caring, polite, gentle and attentive. He was always conscious of my safety and continuously kept saying how much he loved me. Bollocks!

Prince harming surfaced

We got engaged and I became pregnant. I went to his homeland. As soon as we got to his territory, he swiftly unveiled his true self. A duplication of my childhood drama took action. While I was pregnant, I was treated like a hostage, imprisoned, tortured, punched, slapped and kicked, and even spat on. He could have killed me. I was in a strange country. I did not speak their language. I could not contact my family and friends. I did not know where to go for help or what to do. I was in a bad way physically and mentally. I did not think I was going to survive, the thought of suicide drifted through my mind.

My health deteriorated to help me escape

Eventually I ended up in hospital with malaria and went into premature labour. The baby tragically died. I was flown urgently back to London with multiple severe post-operative complications. I owned my own home before I met my ex-partner. Later on I discovered he had defrauded me out of my earnings, including my home. I had  no family to turn to. Six weeks later I left the hospital – hopeless, homeless, penniless, suffering with deep physical and emotional pain. I resided in a hostel for a few months until I was re-housed.

The fog begins to lift

While trying to restart my life, I suffered a great deal and faced many challenges. I was also diagnosed with meningitis B, epilepsy, and kidney and brain tumours. After undergoing several life-threatening operations and medical treatments, rather than labelling myself as a victim, I chose to break with tradition and focus on finding the core cause of my illnesses and abusive repetitive relationships. I began to study the power of our thoughts, feelings and subconscious mind, and embarked on a miraculous self-healing journey that transformed much more than my health.

Read how Margaret broke free In the Light.